How I Felt After Meeting My Birth Mom for the First Time
I’m not sure how many of you know this, but I was adopted. I was adopted when I was a baby so the life I grew up with was my only life. My birth mom gave birth to me and adoptive parents took me home from the hospital and that’s where life began. I have a younger brother as well, who is also adopted but from a different family. So needless to say my *adopted* family is all across the board as far as looks. My mom has red hair and freckles, my dad is of Middle-Eastern descent, and my brother is 1/2 African American, 6’4″, and all muscle. I was always curious where I came because of my looks.
So from about the time I was born my mom had always stayed in contact with my birth mom and I applaud the relationship they kept, I know it wasn’t easy considering the situation.
Anyways, this is how I met my birth mom…
She was planning on being out in California for a wedding, so she reached out to my mom to see if I wanted to meet her. Of course, being curious about where I came from, I said yes. A few days later, my birth mom told me her mom was coming (my birth grandma). That was a little trippy for me because I’d never met anyone I was genetically related to before and here I was meeting two at the same time. We met at an Islands Restaurant and had dinner. It was interesting sitting across the table from a woman I shared so much with and still so little. Trav and Cash came with me and we all talked like friends and then had some moments where we talked about the whole adoption situation and the feelings that went along with it.
Being in the modeling industry and being adopted was difficult for me. Growing up I always felt a little stupid or silly for not knowing my ethnicity. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked, “What ethnicity are you?” A seemingly innocent question that has a whole loaded answer behind it. So I always brushed it off, or lied, or said I didn’t know. Which I still don’t really know my entire lineage but after taking a 23 and Me test, I have a better understanding.
My birth mom didn’t stay in contact with my birth father. So learning about where I came from was very one sided. I still haven’t seen what he looks like or learned much about him. Since taking the 23 and Me test, I have been searching for my birth father. However, I recently learned that he passed away. At this time, I’m unsure of the cause but he was relatively young. I don’t plan on giving up on my search because I still want to know about where I came from. Thanks to 23 and Me, I can still find common connections from my birth father’s side of the family.
I was also shocked to learn that my birth grandmother lived so close to me in California. Being adopted I always had the most random thoughts. I would think to myself, “I could pass by a close relative at any time and not know it.” I wonder if that same scenario ever happened with my birth grandmother..?
At the end of the day….
I am so blessed to have been adopted by my parents. They have given me a life my birth mother knew she couldn’t give me. They will forever be my “mom” and “dad” and nothing will change that. I look forward to building a relationship with my birth mother and her family. I don’t know what kind of relationship my birth mother and I are capable of having. Navigating these waters is unknown and very emotional. But I am keeping an open mind to continue learning more about her. Just meeting her once, I felt an instant connection. She was the person I lived inside for 9 months. Her voice hits my heart in a way I can’t describe. Moving forward, I am curious to know what personality traits I got from her and possibly meeting some more of her family.
As far as my emotions, I was a bit of an emotional mess afterwards and I’m so grateful for Trav and Cash. They wouldn’t be in my life if my life had been any different and I couldn’t imagine a life without them.
Thank you all for the outpour of love and support as I went through this. I was so shocked to learn how many of you were also adopted and really value the advice you sent me. Life is a crazy but beautiful thing and I am so happy I met my birth mom.